01 July 2005 - 17:07
I had a little incident on my way back from America...
As most of you know, I stopped for a few days in Morocco, which was beautiful and very interesting. If you want to know more, I can elaborate, but I think if I write about everything I did there, I'll just sound like a travel guide you can buy at the bookstore, so I'm just going to write about my episode at the Casablanca Mohammed V airport on the way out:
By the Numbers:
-Time spent on the internet looking for Royal Air Maroc weight restrictions for baggage: 30 min.
-Pounds I thought I was allowed for check baggage: 140
-Pounds I packed: 105
-Pounds I was actually allowed: 65
-Point size of the text on the back side of my ticket that told me this: 2
-Amount RAM was going to charge me for the extra 40 lbs.: $245
-Amount of money I make each month (just a reminder): $140
-Languages I argued, bargained, and pleaded in, trying to get a little leniency: 3
-Concessions made by RAM: 0
-Time it took me to unpack my bags in the lobby, sort out what I needed, and repack: 38 min.
-Pounds allowed in my carry-on bag: 10
-Weight, in pounds, of my carry-on to start with: 11
-Extra weight crammed into my carry-on: 8 lbs.
-Weight of clothes added to my ensemble (I actually weighed myself at an empty check-in station): 11
-Number of articles of clothing worn onto the plane: 15
-Articles of clothing left in my bag: 1
-Pockets that I could get to easily: 7
-Number of items in pockets: 36
-Weight of items in pockets: 1 lb.
-Number of buckles, zippers, and buttons on my clothes: 15
-Number of times I had to go through the metal scanner because of this: 3
-Security guards who thought that my pockets full of sauce packets, batteries, and kool-aid were so funny that they let me through with a 9-lb. overweight carry-on: 2
-Pounds of random stuff left scattered in the airport lobby: 20
-Swimming pools that made the cut: 1
-People who found me in the check-in line to tell me I had left some stuff in the lobby: 3
-Who ran back to the lobby when I said he could just take it: 1
-Times I will fly RAM again: 0
-Angry letters I intend to write: 4-5
-That will actually get written: 0
RAM It.
(A freeverse poem.)
Bismillah u-raman u-rahiim.
Hello, Casablanca Airport
Hello, Madame Check-in Lady
Hello, hidden weight restrictions
Hello, enreasonable excess baggage charges.
Goodbye, beef jerky
Goodbye, ping pong set
Goodbye, granola
Goodbye, tupperware
Goodbye, combo locks
Goodbye, koolaid
Goodbye, magazines
Goodbye, GRE study guide
Goodbye, FSWE study guide
Goodbye, wet wipes
Goodbye, blanket
Goodbye, shoes (times three)
Goodbye, batteries
Goodbye, towel
Goodbye, Arby's sauce
Goodbye, canned peaches.
Thanks, Royal Air Maroc.
